Self-worth noun

The value you give to your life and achievements

Everyone’s journey is in ordained order. In truth, we must learn to become comfortable with releasing control. I’ve noticed that it’s often easier for us to believe in negative forces than to have faith in something greater, like love or purpose. The traumas we experience can make us more susceptible to feeling a sense of unworthiness. Often, children who grow up without nurturing environments may internalize a sense of unworthiness into their adulthood, a lack of self-worth, which is the internal sense of being good enough and worthy of love and belonging from others. Where self-worth is low, lack follows—personally and professionally.

“Low self-worth is having a generally negative overall opinion of oneself, judging, or evaluating oneself critically, and placing a general negative value on oneself as a person. People with low self-worth often criticize themselves and abilities, brush off compliments or positive qualities, focus on mistakes, what they didn't do, or what other people seem to do or have.” (uncw.edu)

 Low self-esteem can be acted out as being a people pleaser, which results in not creating healthy boundaries, neglectful behavior, and genuine intimacy, which leads to disappointment. “We choose a partner hoping for a source of affection, love, and support, and, more than ever, a best friend. Finding such a partner is a wonderful and ecstatic experience--the stage of illusion in relationships, it has been called.” (Gordon)

I began by stating that everyone’s journey is in ordained order because, despite how different our journeys are, we often measure our self-worth with false comparisons and fantasies. Social media, television, and society mainly reinforce these distortions. At the core of ourselves, it's natural for us to want to feel safe, secure, and seen. Often, we place that responsibility too much on others, expecting someone else to fill the emptiness. In reality, at a point in our journey, we learn to begin the process of parenting ourselves to have self-empathy. “Self-empathy means accepting that you are human and can learn and grow.” (Orloff) 

 Let’s Grow!

Works Cited

1. uncw. “Self-Help Resources - Self-worth.” UNCW, https://uncw.edu/seahawk-life/health-wellness/counseling/self-help-resources/self-worth. Accessed 3 June 2025.

2. Gordon, Lori H. “Intimacy: The Art of Relationships.” Psychology Today, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/196912/intimacy-the-art-relationships. Accessed 3 June 2025.

3. Orloff, Judith. “8 Key Techniques to Empower Self-Empathy.” Psychology Today, 28 May 2024, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-genius-of-empathy/202405/8-key-techniques-to-empower-self-empathy. Accessed 3 June 2025.